Dawdling

I admit to being a procrastinator. Grant me two weeks to complete an assigned task and I will likely only get started at the eleventh hour. Delayed actions can sometimes have a lasting impact.

This fact was driven home to me sadly, a couple of weeks ago. As a palliative care volunteer at a special facility, I look forward to spending quality time with the residents.  One gentleman in particular eagerly awaited my twice-a-week visits with him.  On days that he felt up to it, I would take him out into the hospice courtyard.  There, we would sit and enjoy our quiet chats or long moments of comforting silence, next to a gurgling fountain amidst trees and blooming flowers. I visited with him on a Monday a couple of weeks ago and after our time together, promised to return before the end of the week. However, for some reason I was unable to go that Friday and by the time I returned the following week, he was gone.

Many friends have, over the years, shared with me their feeling of loss at not having spent time with that special person in their life, before he/she passed on. A letter not written. A loving message not shared. A slight never forgiven. A wrong not set right. Some people carry a sense of guilt or regret, others a wistful “if only …” memory.

So, this week I am sharing this nazm (poem) recited by one of my favorite Pakistani poets, (late) Munir Niazi. The unvaan (title) of this verse is “Hamesha der kar detaa hoon mein” (Always I delay acting).

Hameshaa der kar detaa huuñ meiñ …. Always, I delay acting (on things that matter) ….
Zarūrī baat kahnī ho koī vaada nibhaanaa ho To talk about an important issue (or) to fulfill a promise made
Usey aavaaz denī ho usey vaapas bulaanaa ho To call out to that (special) person (or) to beseech her to return (to me)
Hameshaa der kar detaa huuñ meiñ …. Always, I delay ….
Madad karnī ho us kī yaar kī Dhādas bañdhaanaa ho To extend a helping hand (or) to comfort a friend
Bahut derīna rastoñ par kisī se milne jaanaa ho To tread on paths from the distant past for reconnecting with someone
Hameshaa der kar detaa huuñ meiñ …. Always, I delay ….
Badalte mausamoñ kī sair meñ dil ko lagaanaa ho Taking a jaunt through the changing seasons to divert/amuse the heart
Kisī ko yaad rakhnaa ho kisī ko bhuul jaanaa ho To treasure someone’s memories (or) to (try and) forget someone
Hameshaa der kar detaa huuñ meiñ …. Always, I delay ….
Kisī ko maut se pahle kisī ġham se bachaanaa ho To protect someone from heartbreak before life ends
Haqīqat aur thī kuchh us ko jaa ke ye bataanaa ho To clarify that truth was other than what she/he believed
Hameshaa der kar detaa huuñ meiñ har kaam karne meiñ Always, I delay acting (on things that matter)

2 Replies to “Dawdling”

  1. Pankaj you made a difference in his life by spending all the time you did with him. Those were precious moments for him. Life is sad but it makes you stronger.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

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