Indian literature and movies are full of exquisite poetry of coquettish lovers trying to hold their beloved back and tarry a while. Any and all excuses are employed to prolong the ephemeral time together. That yearning to linger awhile, the clasping of fingers, a fleeting kiss and attempts at persuasion, even gentle admonition to not leave unfulfilled, desires aflame. There are very many ghazals, nazms and Bollywood songs showcasing these sentiments, but I list just a couple that readily come to mind.
Sahir Ludhianvi’s brilliant, nuanced lyrics that were filmed with due tenderness for the 1961 movie Hum Dono: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfEQgoVi7P4
| Abhi naa jaao chhod kar … | (Stay, please) do not leave just yet |
| Ke dil abhi bharaa nahin | (for) my heart’s desire remains unsated |
| … mein thodii der jee to luun | … let me live a little longer … |
| Nashe ke ghoonth pii to luun | … intoxicated by your presence |
And the heavenly Fayyaz Hashmi ghazal sung by the legendary Farida Khanum sahiba and most seductively by Dr. Soma Ghosh, among several others: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_C5N29Z9PY
| Aaj jaane ki zid na karo … | Today, (please) don’t insist on leaving … |
| Yuun hi pehluu mein baithe raho | Stay on, by my side |
| Hai, mar jaayenge, hum to lut jaayenge … | … Ah, I will die, I will be devastated |
| Aisii baaten kiyaa na karo … | (Please) don’t even speak this way (about leaving) |
A nonagenarian aunt – a favourite with my wife and me – loved Farida Khanum’s version. She was preparing to celebrate her 90th birthday one morning and gone the next, just as she had always wished! A very active lady, she lived her life fully and enriched those she came in contact with. I have followed her example of volunteering. She was always serving others, including those at home who served her and the family. For her, charity began at home.
Her passing reignited the thought of death and life-cycle; something I have often mulled over following my own health issues and surgical procedures from several years ago. Each of us has their own perspective on this subject and reacts differently.
These days, when spending an evening with friends it is not uncommon for conversation to steer towards ageing, healthcare, the use of supplements to help prevent or lower diabetes, blood pressure, cholesterol and other maladies. Most people include or exclude dietary regimens according to their perceived needs or as recommended by their physician(s). I am reminded of a dialogue from a 1973 Bollywood film Namak Haraam:
| Jeene kii aarzoo mein marey jaa rahein hain log … | People are dying each day, in their desire to live on |
| Marne kii aarzuu mein jeeye jaa rahaa huun mein | … waiting for death, I continue to live |
This is not being fatalistic; just a realist who wishes to live fully each day. It is also an acceptance of the natural “Cosmic order”: all that is born will perish. One can, and should eat and live healthily, of course. But brooding over such matters is of little consequence and does not alter what lies in store. Legendary poet, Mirza Ghalib has stated succinctly:
| … Maut kaa ek din muayyan hai | (The) day of death is already destined, |
| niind kyuun raat bhar nahiin aatii | why then, do I stay up (worrying) all night |
| … marte haiñ aarzuu meñ marne kii | … I spend my life yearning for release in death, |
| maut aatii hai par nahiin aatii | … it comes closer … yet never arrives |
And finally, having lived a full life cycle what is the legacy one leaves behind? Sheikh Ibrahim Zauq, the eminent shaayar and teacher of the last Mughal ruler, Bahadur Shah Zafar, wisely opined:
| Laa.ī hayaat aa.e qazaa le chalii chaley | Life brought me into existence, death (Judgement Day) takes me away |
| apnii ḳhushii na aa.e naa apnii ḳhushii chaley | I neither arrived by choice nor am I departing of my own free will |
| … ho umr-e-ḳhizr bhii to ho ma.alūm vaqt-e-marg | … even if it were a timeless life (referencing the immortal Prophet Khizr), death will (finally) bring the realization (that) |
| ham kyaa rahe yahāñ abhii aa.e abhii chaley | … my stay here was fleeting, for no sooner had I arrived that I had to leave |
I conclude with this moving composition by Country singer Tim McGraw, said to be a tribute to his father who passed away soon after he was diagnosed with cancer:
wealthisnotmoney 
We just recently celebrated my FIL’s 80th and at his party was his friend who is 90 and on top of his game. Honestly, it is inspiring and I hope that when I am that age, God willing, I will have that zest for life that allows you the calm, wisdom and passion to enjoy life as it unfolds. Thank you for this excellent blog!
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Deeply sorry for your loss. Your blog brings to mind an old Tamil proverb: “If it all ends today, then that’s the full life I’ve lived.”
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Beautiful blog Pankaj.Live like there is no tomorrow. We spend too much time worrying about litt
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So sorry to learn of your aunt’s passing. She sounds like a remarkable lady. Someone once said to me that we only really lose our loved ones when we forget them. As long as we are guided by their principles and values, recall their way of doing certain things, we not only channel their wisdom and love, they live on in our hearts and memories. They live on in us.
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I thoroughly enjoyed reading this article, which so thoughtfully captures the human yearning for a long life while acknowledging the certainty of death. I was especially impressed by the depth and breadth of the author’s knowledge, reflected in the way they wove together pearls of wisdom from both ancient and contemporary poets and singers.
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